I feel beautiful when I am speaking French. I love the taste and feel of the vowels and consonants in my mouth.  The sensation and the tone of my voice as it moves  forward into the mask of my face. For whatever reason the words conjure memories of delicious treats in my beloved Paris munching madelines or macaroons , picnics with my pals in the Tuillerie Gardens, sharing with a lover a hazelnut Nutella crepe  from a street vendor in Montmartre.

I swear to God, speaking French words actually tastes different for me than speaking English. and Italian is a whole different flavor as well.  Even though my French is really a kind of “Franglais” where I speak a few sentences in perfect French and then throw in a word or two of English because my mental computer can’t access the proper French words. It’s really a mishmosh of two thirds French and one third English and sometimes the proportions vary depending if I am on a role or not. A glass of crisp, cold Sancerre wine helps but is not necessary at all. It actually doesn’t matter that what comes out of my mouth does not come out perfectly and that I am not completely fluent. I will  be some day…It doesn’t matter that it’s not  perfect because it is the feeling or experience that feels so good connecting and communicating in this  beautiful, sexy  language. I think what happens for me is that those sounds and the feeling of making them taps directly into my passion. And when I tap into my passion I feel the power of being the woman that I am. I also feel more of the  artist who I am past, present and future. And when I tap into that part of me, I am ageless. I am potent. I feel feminine, strong  and more alive all at the same time.

What makes you FEEL beautiful???????

Well, I am back in Paris and not a moment too soon. The best part about Toulon was being at Amma’s program there. But it was HUGE…Thousands of people. Amma made the front page of the newspaper there as there were more than 20,000 people who came to receive Her Divine hug (darshan).

“Amma, reunited with the love of Toulon…”  & “ In the arms of a woman… a mental and a spiritual experience”

Anyway, my husband and I actually spent most of our time helping our our spiritual community at the ayurvedic table selling essential oils, flower essences and other wonderful products sold by Amma’s bookstore. I was actually considered a big help because I could speak some French. So I had a lot of practice which I really enjoyed!!

After the end of the 3 day program, Dan & I checked out of our hotel and were very happy to so because the manager was …let’s just say not the most hospitable host… wouldn’t let us leave our bags to spend the day touring in Toulon.

So there we were with all our baggage walking to the main square with 5 hours to kill before our train. We found this wonderful restaurant unbelievably called “The Oasis”…and it truly was. The gentleman owner, Michel,  was so warm and delightful. He and his wife sent over two glasses of champagne with our lunch and I had an extensive conversation with him (in French, of course) about Toulon, politics in the US..etc. He offered to hold our bags in the restaurant so we could walk freely around Toulon, which we did. They were fabulously warm and hospitable. So we made some new friends there.

We found a photographic exhibition that was from a photographer named Jean-Loup Sief from the 60’s & 70’s that was quite interesting.

And I met a delightful painter, Monique Le Chapelain,  who was dressed in a beautiful Spanish dancer’s dress in her gallery.  I just had to speak to her and I really loved her colorful style of painting as well as her personal style. I did end up buying one of her drawings…Couldn’t help supporting a fellow artist.

Some photos of Toulon

More photos of Paris

  Montmartre Street scenes

Place de Concorde at night and the Seine

The Champs Elysee at dusk

The work of an artist who goes by JR who puts photos in public places of the eyes of oppressed women from third world.

My dear friend, Jean-Francois (standing outside of the Louvre)who is working with the Paris Opera Ballet on a production that opens tonight. He used to dance with POB, then became the ballet master at the Geneva Ballet where he lives in Switzerland. This was a special project he was hired to come and stage a piece by Paul McGregor, an American choreographer called “Millepied”- . SO I am getting to go to the opening tonight  at the Paris Opera and to the post party afterwards.  Ooo la la!!!

November 1, 2009

Well just after my last post I got a rip roaring a case of the flu….That’s right. Hell is being on vacation in Paris and coming down with the flu. I have no idea which flu and who cares… Fever, chills, body aches, soar throat….But not to worry…It hardly stopped me. I got some meds from the pharmacy and finally I let the medicine of Paris heal me. And it did, unbelievably! I was sick with a fever on Wednesday and by Saturday I was hoofing around Paris nonstop with less pain and effort.

I had this amazing experience when I took my husband to see the  cathedral of Notre Dame. For the past 25 + years I have been going to this cathedral to pray and when I got in front of it, I just began to weep like a baby. All I could think of was, “It feels so good to be home…I am so relieved to be here again…I love being here…” Notre Dame Cathedral has always been such a special place for me. It is the cathedral of “Our Lady”,  the Mother of God…

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There is a theme on this trip of being in the presence of the Divine Feminine. Amma was in Paris (part of the reason we came here at this time) and we got a hug from Her, (darshan). 20,000 people showed up to the program…Actually, I had gone to the medical office at the program last Wednesday night to see about getting some Ibuprofen or Tylenol because I felt horrible. They sat my butt down, took my temperature, blood pressure, etc and called the doctor in to see me. I guess nobody is messing around with flu symptoms these days…Indeed, I had fever and the doctor arranged for us to get an early darshan so I could get back to the hotel and rest. Well, it was the most amazing thing…We went up for our hug and as soon as I was hugged by Amma, Divine Mother that She is, my fever broke. I felt so much better. But I still went back to the hotel to rest to be safe and careful.

Then for the next few days I showed my dear husband around Paris but I was sick as a dog. Still, we ate and walked and took photos, ate some more, had café au laits and ate some more crepes, pastry, croissants….Paris is definitely the place to practice meditation…food meditation, that is.

That’s a street performer dressed up like a statue!

  That’s Didier’s kitty Sacha…

Today we took the fast train here to Toulon down on the Cote d’Azur in the south of France. We will spend a few more days with Amma here with people from all over the world to bask in Her Divine presence. Then Dan will head back to SF and I will stay on to see about some business in Paris…We’ll see… It’s in the hands of the Divine Mother.

Frankfurt en route Paris 10/23/09

I am on my way. I cannot tell you how happy I am to be heading to France for the next three weeks. Three weeks!!! I am giving myself this amazing gift. I always feel so nourished when I get to spend time in Europe. On a soul level and of course, the food! Maybe it is because of my Italian roots but it doesn’t explain this mad love affair I have had with Paris.

The intention I have set for this trip is to allow my heart and soul to be nourished as it always seems to be when I am here….. to have AS MUCH FUN AS POSSIBLE and also to take time for reflection. Europe is the place for me to come to replenish, re-dream and to reconnect with myself.

My husband, Dan will be joining me here in a few days and it will be his first time in Europe let alone Paris. So, there is much fun to be had together here. We are, also, planning to attend a program here given by our spiritual teacher, Ammachi. She is here in Europe for Her yearly Fall tour we’ll be attending Her programs here in Paris and down in the south of France in Toulon in a week. Amma is the embodiment of Compassion, a great humanitarian, http://www.amma.org/ and has had a profound effect on my life.

Also, another intention I have is to perhaps allow the possibility of professional collaboration here in Paris. My dream is to spend time in Paris part of the year and in San Francisco part of the year. I will be looking into the possibility of teaching an Embracing Deep Beauty workshop in Paris. More on that later…

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As we touched down at the Frankfurt airport I thought we were landing in San Francisco because the fog was so thick. It was kind of grey and depressing outside along with the cold, impersonal uber industrial interior of the Frankfurt airport.

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Paris 10/24/09 1^st Night in Paris

What a welcome I received when I got to Paris! After traveling a long 18 hours ( I had a 7 hour layover in Frankfurt) took a shower at the airport; reapplied my makeup and was “dinner party ready” when I stepped off the plane in Paris. My dear friend, Didier, picked me up at the airport and we were off to a lovely dinner party in the chic neighborhood of Palais Royale at his friend’s home.  "What an amazing welcome", I thought to myself as I sat there with a beautiful Murano crystal glass in my hand filled with champagne surrounded by very warm and interesting Parisians. Paris always seems to welcome me with a warm embrace. Then Didier threw a dinner party the following night at his apartment up in Montmarte near Sacre Coeur and the FOOD!! Eating well here is not a problem but having French friends cooking for you makes it even better.

My dear Didier & moi

Didier introduced me to his friend, Elyane, an anti-aging consultant and author on the topic. She is about to publish her second book and we both could see that we had a lot to talk about around the subject of beauty and health. Perhaps we may be able to collaborate on a project together. We will see….

10/27/09

Dan, my husband, & I have been in a small town on the outskirts of Paris these last two days attending Amma’s program then we will be back in Paris for a few days before heading to Toulon. For our stay in Paris, my friend Dominique lent us her apartment and we are quite spoiled with the view!

Today, I  give myself PERMISSION to just be. 

In particular, just be where I am…with this blog.  It has seemed so hard to just start that which I’ve been thinking about for so long. I have a lot of thoughts and experiences about the topic of beauty.  Yet resistance has kept me frozen more than how busy I have been. Perfectionism and procrastination are no friends to anyone seeking to live a full, exciting, passionate and truly beautiful life.  They certainly haven’t been my friends…

But  that’s not what I wanted to talk about. What I really wanted to talk about is PARIS… , France that is. I am planning to go there this October for two weeks. I have not been back to see my dear friends there since 2001. It’s too long for my soul because Paris is a place that makes me feel beautiful and passionately alive. I went to see the movie “Julie & Julia” and felt my heart aching to be in those amazing open air markets, eating crusty croissants, orgasmic pastry ; going to fabulous galleries and laughing in little cafes with good friends I have known for years . I loved the movie because it brought me home to one of my favorite places on earth and I got inspired by Julie’s blog idea. I  reminded me that my own blog was waiting for me to break the ice and POST!

One of the things I like to do in Paris is to speak French.I do speak some  French although mostly I speak a sort of “Franglaise”… I actually give myself permission to speak as much as I can in French and then when I can’t remember the correct word I say it in English, a patch work of the two languages. And I just let it be OK because I love the feeling of the language in my mouth and the sound of it around me. Franglaise does require a willingness to get your point across at the risk of sounding stupid. It is precisely because I love the language and the feeling I have speaking it that makes me so willing to be imperfect with it. and it’s FUN. But the key part is giving myself the permission to not  speak French perfectly. Just get in there and make  a mess and do it with great joy.

I think expressing beauty is the same thing. Just have fun with it. Give lots of permission to be ourselves. Fashion should be an inspiration to have more fun not a barometer to measure our insufficiencies.

I know that when I do what I love I feel more beautiful. What makes you feel passionate and beautiful? I would love to hear your thoughts…